If there was ever an occasion upon which one might wet one's pants with dignity, nobility, and grace, it is tonight. Atlanta's only news-hole, the Atlanta Banana itself, is hosting three stand-up comics onstage at Smith's Olde Bar, followed by a news format show that may make you swiftly abandon any allegiance to one Colbert and his ilk. That's the pants-wetting part. The nobility (of the pants-wetting) comes with the fact that the show will benefit Team In Training in raising money to fight blood cancers. In case you need even more reasons to show up at Smith's tonight, which you probably don't but in case you do, here are a handful straight from the Banana's mouth.

Top 3.1415926535 Reasons To Come To Atlanta Banana Live Benefitting Team In Training Tonight:

1. Cancer obstinately refuses to cure itself.
2. Showing up and laughing are the old-school liking and retweeting.
3. Your ex boy- or girlfriend will be there, and he or she has put on 20 lbs.
.1415926535. You're goi