by Chelsie Rohlen

Never underestimate the power of a good condiment. That said, overestimating can also be an issue. When things get too complicated in the sauce area, questioning whether or not the food drowning underneath is decent is the foreseeable next step. The secret to a stellar sauce, it seems, falls under an unadorned criterion of fresh, house made, and original. There are rules here in the Condiment Club. Keep it simple, but keep it interesting. Keep it interesting, but don’t mess up the purity of the crunchy, oily goodness of a good fry, toasted bun, or tortilla chip. Those who’ve overdone it on the plain mayo, doused yourself in dijon, and salted your food until it favors submergence in quicksand, rejoice and wipe your weary brows. Here, we present Atlanta exclusives with the best collections of sauces. With this kind of variety, your enervated ennui with ketchup is bound to disappear.

When Heinz (or, God forbid, Hunt’s) doesn’t cut it...

• Ormsby’s: First, choose between fries and onion rings, then choose between pot roast gravy, bacon jam, house-made cheese whiz, lemon aioli, sriracha mayonnaise, creamy blue cheese, horseradish sour cream, buttermilk ranch, tomato jam, pimento cheese, stout mustard, or peppercorn steak sauce. Best of luck to you.
• Flip: For your sweet potato tots, opt between must-worthy pomegranate ketchup or coffee BBQ and blue cheese foam. Cheese foam? Alright.
• YEAH! Burger: Turkey bacon, (nitrate-free) bacon, bacon jam, oh my. Complimented perfectly by the extensive list of sauces including Fox Bros BBQ, Mississippi Mop BBW, Sunflower Pesto, and Hot Alabama Relish. Holeman & Finch: Catfish & Grits geechee gravy, house made ketchup and mustard (spicy), the relish on the deviled eggs 3 ways, buttermilk sauce for ranch lovers.
• Leon’s: Hearty portion of pub frites with garlic aioli, goat cheese fondue, peppercorn gravy, masaman curry, madras curry catsup, Leon’s bbq, traditional mayonnaise, smoked tomato mayonnaise, black pepper mayonnaise, fresh horseradish mayonnaise, bacon herb mayonnaise, cucumber-dill yogurt, mango- peppadew catsup, and/or Leon’s catsup. Props to you if you choose the and over the or. Damn, I’m tired.

Salsas

• One of Buford Highway’s finest, Taqueria El Rey Del Taco, offers a trivet of creamy salsas to compliment your hot, fresh, salty chips. Apologies if you just got turned on in public. (For guaranteed entertainment, check out some Scouts’ experience at El Rey here—SFW pics included.)
• Emory Village’s Bad Dog Taqueria offers a delicious trio of Salsa Fresca, Fire Roasted Tomato, and an amazingly addictive Pineapple Serrano salsa with Yucca, Plantain (delicious), Bonaito, and corn chips. They also serve a fiery habanero ketchup.

Bottled condiments

• Toscano and Sons Italian Market sells Italian jams, honeys, olive oils, and vinegars. Yes, please.
• To continue to err on the side of Italian, Bella Cucina stocks everything from lemon cream to a potpourri of pesto: varieties include arugula and pine nut, artichoke lemon, and mint and pistachio. Take that, bland whole wheat noodles.
• Castleberry Hill’s Boxcar Grocer keeps it real (and local) with Preserving Now's butters and preserves, raw honey from Weeks Honey Farm, and an array of Zocalo’s salsa.
Bottled condiments.
• Hotlanta Hot Sauce is sold in a whole hoard of habitations, found here.
• For more locally sourced spicy sauce, check out Ladybird & Friends, who also carry a Hot Pink Grapefruit sauce to kick up your fish and shrimp in addition to hot sauces.
• Click on over (DO IT!) to Local Market South for a great selection of sauces from the south, including Merrilily’s Gardens Perfect Plum sauce, Hope’s Gardens Jalapeno Pesto, and Slather Brand’s Slatherin’ Sauce.
• Your favorite BBQ sauce ain’t hard to take home. Most joints offer their sauces bottled, such as Fox Brothers.
• If you’re into the goodness of AtlantaFresh yogurt, Whole Foods stocks their Greek yogurt salad dressings, that moonlight as delicious dips, available in Ranch, Cucumber Dill, and Chipotle Lime.

So, there you have it: our favorite things with which to slather, dress, marinate, and kick up our food. Because sometimes, boring ol' ketchup just doesn't cut the mustard.