That's why we propose resurrecting it.
Forget basketball, archery, and even Nastia Liukin. (Luv u Nas.) We've compiled a list of sporting events that would truly have spectators on the edge of their seats.
The Buford Highway Marathon. Start with margaritas and queso at Pancho's. End with Sushi House Hayakawa. In between, you'll race to slurp pho, discover exactly how much Sichuan peppercorn you can handle, toss back xiaolong bao at Chef Liu's, and get the meat sweats at Hae Woon Dae. C'mon, it's only 10 miles.
Ring Around The Perimeter. Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines: at precisely 5:30 p.m., you will join the rabble on 285-North at Hartsfield, crawl your way up to I-20, crawl past Midtown, pass over the scenic Chattahoochee, navigate Spaghetti Junction, wave hello to Clarkston, pass by I-20 again, and make your way back down to College Park. Competitors will be supplied with minivans.
The 400-Meter Freestyle in Piedmont Park's Lake. Formally referred to as Lake Clara Meer, this body of water in the heart of the city provides an especially difficult challenge to athletes in its nearly nonexistent visibility. Also, swimmers must dodge the marine life inside the lake, about which no one really knows, but we've heard whispers of three-headed catfish.
The Party-Likker Triathlon. Participants will forego any food consumption for twenty-four hours leading up to the event. Participants will start at Mezcalito's in Oakhurst with three shots of the jalapeno-marinated Devil Water, make their way to H. Harper Station for a punch bowl made for six, and finish the triathlon with slamming one of each sugar-laden tiki cocktail at Trader Vic's.
Drunken Ping-Pong Tournament. Athletes must begin with three Jack 'n Coke slushies at Victory Sandwich Bar, compete in round II with three high-gravity beers at Ormsby's, and complete the tournament facing the ultimate opponent: Sister Louisa. With three spiritual sangrias.
We know you have more ideas. Tell us. Tweet us up or head over to Facebook, and let us know how Atlantans can upshow Michael Phelps and his ilk. Izzy will thank you.