by Emily Jackson
The good ol’ Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority has done it again! They present to us… The MARTA Safety Slide, a little ditty soon to be topping R&B charts for sure. Because no one can resist a song that comes with a dance...
We know this is a lot to take in at once so we broke it on down in a review to help ya’ll out.
The Atlanta Dream Mascot: 4 Stars
We’re thrilled that MARTA has selected Star, the WNBA’s Atlanta Dream mascot, to rep our city and help passengers improve their safety skills. So what if no one knows what this massive bird creature is? He or she is clearly bursting with ATL pride. We aren’t so thrilled by his (her?) antennae... Also, why does Star value others’ safety so much more than his own? Shouldn’t the whole “secure your own oxygen mask before helping others” rule also apply in bus and train decorum? For these reasons, Star loses a star.
Dance Crew of Average Citizens: 5 Stars
Where else but Atlanta would all ages and races be represented in an ever-growing mob of safety sliders? If this video accomplishes nothing else, at least it will further confirm the irrefutable fact that Atlantans can werk. We just hope that all that sassy slidin’ didn’t cause any of them to miss their bus!
Man Who Tries Running For the Bus: No Stars
You, sir, earn no stars. You just need to go home for the day and listen to the sultry sounds of the Safety Slide.
Overall Score: 4.5 Stars
But don’t just take our word for it. Read these YouTube comment highlights:
“Nice video with good information. Very catchy song, could actually be a hit at parties and clubs. Who knew Louis could break it down like that!” - Dean Neblett
“how on earth can you be anything but delighted with this extraordinary insanity? this is the sort of deeply bizarre thing that atlanta is sorely short on. @itsmartanews: don't listen to these hatas! might i recommend a metal video next starring atlanta's own MASTODON?” - Nick Black
“look look look before takin' a step omg it's in my head” - Nick Black in reply to Nick Black