The most epic of epic Hallows' Eve jamborees is on the horizon. And if you haven't already settled on some form of costumery, you may feel whipsawed by confusion. But worry not, dear reader: we've got a few handy suggestions to get you out of that pickle, and we promise not to steal any of them for ourselves. Best of all? They're all local. Because that's just how we do. Also, because Bicycle Shorts Terry is way better than Sexy Nurse.

Blondie, 2013 Movie Star Edition
You will need: red carpet, IMDB credentials, celebrity status
Optional: Even more diva sass

The Urban Cowboy
You will need: stick horse, Stetson hat, heart of gold
Optional: hoards of Instagramming fans joyous at the sight of a horse on Howell Mill

You will need: scissors, cardboard, paint, string
Optional: eyeliner whiskers, people willing to scale fences to find you

A Walking Dead Zombie
You will need: clothes to destroy, zombie make up
Optional: faux human flesh to gnaw on

The Varsity Orange Drink
You will need: orange pants, orange shirt, straws, glue
Optional: a friend wearing a hotdog suit

Lun Lun the Giant Panda
You will need: black pants, something with black sleeves, hat/headband with black ears
Optional: bamboo, crew of panda pals, legion of adoring fans

Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
You will need: pillow filling, adhesive, brown paint
Optional: black tooth, afro wig

Aunt Fran & Uncle Stan, the Proud Parents of Cousin Dan
You will need: laser pointer, baby, codpiece for baby Dan

Bicycle Shorts Terry
You will need: bicycle shorts. Roll of quarters. Extreme confidence. Done.

Do You Like Good Poetry
You will need: rhyme skills, ability to think on your feet, extreme persistence
Optional: an MFA in Poetry.

King & Queen of Pops
You will need: Matching crowns, ermine robe, frozen delicacies
Optional: push cart, rainbow umbrella

Murder Kroger
You will need: deathly makeup, tunic fashioned out of a brown paper Kroger bag, faux weaponry
Optional: shopping cart for collecting victims

Fitness With Jeff
You will need: a Fitness With Jeff sign (see here), a Fitness With Jeff t-shirt, a Fitness With Jeff minivan, body like a battle axe

Baton Bob
You will need: an assortment of hats, a tutu, sass unlimited

Photo courtesy of Joeff Davis/Creative Loafing