As you've probably noticed by now, we like to tell you about things we're diggin'. Well, this week, we're devoting this section to something we're not diggin': Violent ice cream truck drivers. That's right, kids. Avert your eyes. For the most unimaginable just happened. Ice cream, the stuff of happiness, somehow managed to be the source ofgaspanger...?
Last week, when a Mister Softee ice cream truck pulled up to its usual spot in front of Lincoln Center, only to find its rival, Softee Ice Cream, parked there instead, the driver was less than pleased. Needless to say, his upset escalated quickly and he began shaking the Softee Ice Cream truck and shouting racial slurs at the summertime treat competitor, to which the other driver responded by exiting his vehicle to instigate what can only be described as a tooth-baring, down and dirty, animalistic brawl that came to blows and a face-smush into some shrubbery, all of which can be seen in NYC The Blog's video footage.
There aren't enough words to express our horror. Imagine how many dreams were shattered when on-lookers of all ages witnessed the sacrilege that is man-to-man combat against the backdrop of a cheerfully illustrated confection. The responsibility of the ice cream truck driver is to spread joy and wonder to adults and children alike. If we were to categorize soft serve, it would fall in line with skipping and mini-golf, rainbows and Double Dutch. Tall, swirly cones should be served with smiles and balloons, not fists and bloody noses.
So, we guess what we're saying is, if you can't take the cold, get out of the truck. Because there's little we dig less than hostile ice cream truck drivers.