Sure, scarfing down a dollar slice of pizza and making it back to the bar for one more beer before last call may feel impressive, but chances are your friends aren’t going to be bowled over by a feat of this culinary magnitude. But slay one of NYC’s food challenges, and you can guarantee tales of your gastronomic fortitude will dominate the dinner party conversation for at least a week (okay, a few days if you’re lucky). And while we can’t advocate tackling all of the city’s most challenging menu items at once, lest begin to hate your doughy face, here are three of New York’s most competitive food contests. You may never play on a pro sports team, but win one of these and you can at least say you hang in the competitive eating big leagues.

If you order your curry extra hot and still think it’s wimpy…
With three locations in New York and two in New Jersey, Brick Lane Curry House brings its excruciatingly hot P’haal challenge to five convenient locations. Described as “more pain than sweet flavor,” the curry requires participants to state a verbal disclaimer absolving the restaurant of any physical or emotional damage they may suffer after downing a bowl. Originally created as a dare to see who could handle the heat, the curry packs a punch 60 times stronger than that of a jalapeño—thanks to 10 different kinds of peppers—and requires a gas mask to prepare. There’s no time limit, but the 16-ounce bowl defeats more than 90-percent of the people who attempt to conquer it. Succeed, and you’ll be added to the P’Hall of Fame, receive a certificate, and get a beer for your troubles. No word on if you also get some of your stomach lining back.

If your idea of a balanced breakfast is a steak…
Brooklyn’s Lonestar Bar and Grill has been slinging Texas-style barbecue to the Fort Hamilton crowd, but its steak challenge requires a love for meat bigger than the state from which the restaurant gets its name. Devour an 87-ounce steak, plus a small side, and you’ll be absolved of paying for your giant hunk of meat and receive a t-shirt for your troubles, which should definitely make your mom proud.

If you complain that sushi never fills you up…
Aside from strange décor (skeletons, dolls) and even stranger menu items (bull penis, fried frog), Saint Marks Place’s Kenka also boasts another exotic offering: its curry challenge. The Japanese restaurant dishes out a heaping four-pound plate of curry and rice, which you have to inhale in 20 minutes or less. Fail, and you’ll have to live with the shame that almost half of the people who tackle it succeed, plus the $25 food tab.