If you ever find yourself in downtown DC, especially on the streets between Chinatown and Metro Center, there's a very good chance you've scoffed at the number of tourist shops taking up valuable storefront space. Do out-of-towners really need that many tie-dyed Federal Boobie Inspector shirts? I mean, really. In any case, your Scoutmob editor being the curious, air-conditioning-seeking creature she is, accidentally decided to go on a tour of these shops one hot, unbearable afternoon. And while at first, refrigerated water seemed like the coolest thing a local could buy in this type of shop, a closer inspection revealed there is some pretty ridiculous stuff that could enhance every DC citizen's life.

Soup Bowl/Mug w/ Spoon. At least it seems useful. And it's not too ugly...


Poolside Flip-Flops. While we don't advocate this flimsy footwear for everyday use. These are great for representing on vacation or chilling poolside here. And much cheaper than Havaianas.


Keychain Sunscreen. This is actually genius. While I can't speak to the quality of the lotion inside, it'll certainly prove handy.


Fluorescent Fanny Pack. Called a bum bag in the UK, this is just obnoxious enough to almost be cool. Plus, it's a good place to store your keychain sunscree.


Poncho. If the end of June was any indication, you can never be too prepared.
Offensive Baby Clothing. It's never too early to start being a bad influence on your nephew.


Legitimate Sock Puppet Monkey. OK, so it's not something anyone needs, but the classic design on your right is worthy of your dollars to make up for the above gift.
Fake Beard. You never know when you might need one.


DC Flask. Because buying beer at baseballs games can get expensive...